Magellan
Magellan Fiction

Charisma_E Tweets
by Grace Crowley/xmung, April-May 2009

Note: this story is Magellan canon in that it depicts actual Magellan events... however it is not Magellan canon in that Charisma wouldn't have been tweeting any of it (Magellan security is way to good to have let that one get thru)... think of it as Charisma's own internal dialogue! Scary, I know.

Author's notes: Many of the events in this story take place throughout Chapter 4: Bad Karma. The time stamps are not linked to any corresponding pages - but you might enjoy seeking them out yourself. As a helpful starting point you'll find that the very first post (April 21, 4:32pm) links to page 4.32. Also the @responses (made to real tweeters at the time) do not link to the original respondees' tweets (no longer all that feasible due to the current Twitter format) - but the one-sided conversation works just as well. As regards the Charima pic, I've linked to the Twitpic pages where they were posted but the original image is also included below the related tweet.

Further commentry at the end.If you haven't already read Chapter 4: Bad Karma, there are many spoilers in the work that follows.

posted April 21st 2009
  • That Billy tries to pretend he's not interested in Jones when it's so obvious he is. What does he see in her anyway?
    4:32pm
  • Training exercise tomorrow. Should be a breeze if I'm not teamed with Mudge Wilson again. Nights!
    10:15pm
  • Freaking hell! How am I supposed to sleep with Jones and Ortanga making all that noise? Why I couldn't have my own room I don't know.
    11:08pm

posted April 22nd 2009

  • WTF? Explosion nearby 1/2 an hour ago, yellow alert, whole dorm freaked, fat @$$ Maya hauled off by security... just wanna sleep!!!
    12:48am
  • Why why why is floating wheelchair man yelling at me to wake up?? Not happy. I'm really going to give him a piece of my mind!
    4:37am
  • @Mindmistress I'm sure I have *no* idea who you are or why you've got baldy tampering with my Twitter feed...???
    4:41am
  • How dare Ken Spence yell at me like that?? I should take his floating wheelchair and stick it where the sun doesn't shine!!!
    4:56am
  • Told Daddy to come over to the RoboMat to sort out Ken Spence. Ha! That'll teach him not to humiliate me in front of the whole class!
    5:53am
  • WristComms=ugly to wear... but excellent to tweet on. Might be some update time weirdness. Stupid technology.
    5:56am
  • Stuck in RoboMat SitRoom 2 with "Red Team" Maya Fat@$$, Rochelle the brainy baldy and Mr Mystery Chong. Ugh. Except for me, Red Team sucks!
    6:02am
  • Ken Spence says I haven't got what it takes to become a super hero. I'm totally going to picture his ugly face while punching robots.
    8:06am
  • Currently in a duct in RoboMat. Don't they ever clean these things? Disgusting.
    8:38am
  • Red Team rules! We totally pwned Robo-Evil Weevil. None of the other teams did. In your face Ken Spence!
    8:51am
  • Awesome! The team Jones was on crashed and burned because of her. There is a god.
    9:14am
  • Billy flying over campus carrying Jones. Squick. Says they're "on business". As if. Pathetic.
    9:19am
  • Daddy flies up to me, tells me he's proud of me. Whatever. Cr@pping on about not being invulnerable. I hate it when he calls me "poppet".
    9:21am
  • Billy and I were just about to get it on but big explosion over in Teacher's Quarters totally ruined the moment. Flying over to investigate.
    9:25pm
  • OMG. Why are supers from the future blowing up houses? Future Billy is Victory-Man 2 (lame!) and BALD! lol
    10:30am
  • Future Mudge Wilson is horrid - saying terrible lies about future *me* dying. Also, worst costume and codename ever. "Psi-Jector"?? Lame!
    10:50am
  • Something big going down over Central Tower so instead Hoodoo orders me and Billy off to South Tower to evacuate civs??? Fine. Whatever.
    10:55am
  • Yawn. Evacuating civilians is *so* boring. Why don't they get someone useless like Jones to do it? Where is she anyway?
    11:08am
  • Can't stop thinking about what Psi-Jerktor said about me dying in some future apocalypse. Think I need to wash my hair.
    11:14am
  • Definitely need to wash my hair.
    11:15am
  • Whoa! Zoned out there. Suddenly chaos everywhere! Billy's covered in blood and I'm helping him, Ortanga and squid girl kill a dragon!?!
    11:33am
  • Awesome! I. Just. Killed. A. Freaking. Dragon. Would love to see Jones try and do that. Also, why am I covered in dirt?
    11:53am
  • All sorts of crazy going on right now. More dragons about the island apparently but have to stay here and help civs and injured instead.
    11:55am
  • Some green skinned 3rd year chick just turned into an alien bat and did a med-evac on a badly injured 2nd year cadet! Weird power.
    12:01pm
  • Whole sky... *everything's* gone red. Not good. Something happening at Central Tower. Am totally freaked. Could fly away but won't.
    12:15pm
  • The redness just stopped. Weird smell in the air. Dr Log say emergency's over. Don't know what's going on. Everyone dazed. Need to lie down.
    12:24pm
  • Head spin?? Just woke up in infirmary with oxygen mask on? Everyone rushing about... no one paying any attention to me.
    2:36pm
  • A bit of yelling got some intern's attention. She says I passed out and I have to stay overnight for observation. Feel dizzy.
    2:42pm
  • Lots and lots of people in here. Some cadets and teachers, mostly security and civs. Some guy they took past had a bone sticking out. Gross.
    2:50pm
  • Think I see Louis the jumping guy from my year getting his arm set. Hey, wonder if Jones is here? Nah. Probably in the morgue! lol
    3:06pm
  • Tried to get up to leave but fell down. Embarassing much? Head spinning. Dr Chandra-pointy-hair told me to stay put. Bossy!
    3:34pm
  • Daddy just paid a visit... in a wheelchair?? What's that about? Says a dragon hurt his back. Fussed over me. Called me "poppet". Again!
    5:04pm
  • What's worse than hospital food? Infirmary food! Did I get some alien's meal by mistake? Sure looked and tasted like it.
    5:18pm
  • Freya Foster (looked like she hasn't slept all week!) just saw me. Said I might have "futureshock" - moving me to "secure room". Oh yay.
    5:40pm
  • Just heard a rumor that a first year cadet might have died today. OMG! No name yet... but wouldn't be surprised if it *was* Jones. Or Mudge.
    5:57pm
  • Or Maya. Could be Maya.
    6:02pm
  • Being moved to my "secure room". No word on "dead cadet". Just saw Mudge Wilson with a broken nose (typical) so it isn't him.
    6:19pm
  • Room=boring&quiet. Intern said Dr Chandra would see me in the morning so I should sleep now. Also asked for my autograph. The nerve!
    6:46pm

posted April 23rd 2009

  • Horrid dreams about apocalypse last night. Totally punched a hole in the wall while asleep. Still dizzy. Breakfast=yuk. Bored. Bored. Bored.
    9:52am
  • Still no word on dead cadet. If it *is* Jones the Academy will look stupid for letting her in in the first place.
    10:01am
  • Hair is a mess. Needs a wash. Will need titanium brush to get knots out. Dragons have no respect.
    10:22am
  • I should tweet "bored now" every minute until doctor sees me. But that would be boring. If I could stand I'd fly out of here.
    10:50am
  • *Nothing* on the internets about yesterday. Means no one knows I killed a dragon. Freaking typical.
    10:56am
  • Do I get some kind of award for killing a dragon? Totally should.
    11:00am
  • Dr Chandra says dizziness=my inner ear being somethinged after being stomped by dragon. Don't remember that. Explains dirt in my hair.
    12:05pm
  • Oh god. I just heard off the autograph hunting intern that "Mr Mystery" Chong is the dead cadet. Totally in shock. What was his first name?
    12:28pm
  • Dr Foster says I've got "mild future-shock" because of contact with those chroners and what Psi-Jerktor said about me dying in the future.
    12:45pm
  • Dr Foster really should get some sleep, could those circles under her eyes be any darker? I mean really?
    12:47pm
  • Are the chroners responsible for Chong dying? Probably that red and black leather biatch that zapped me yesterday at the exploded house.
    12:50pm
  • Healer has ju-jued my inner ear/dizzy problem. I can stand now without the room spinning - why couldn't he do that last night? Can I go now?
    2:20pm
  • If they're not going to let me leave this stupid infirmary can they at least fix the hole I punched in the wall last night?
    3:52pm
  • Another visit from Daddy. No wheelchair this time. He apologized for not looking in sooner. I complained about the room but he did nothing.
    4:04pm
  • And why hasn't *anyone else* come to visit me yet? Unbelievable. I mean, OK, I'm in safe room lock down; but still...!
    5:08pm
  • Billy saw the chroners too, so is *he* in future shock lockdown? He'd better visit me - or try to visit - or I'll never talk to him again.
    5:11pm
  • Ugh. Another crappy meal. Stuck here for another night. And I'm not even missing classes because they've been canceled this week anyway.
    6:07pm
  • Shame about that Chong guy though. Was sure it would be Jones who ended up dead first. Or at least maimed.
    8:11pm
  • Can't sleep. Everything Psi-Jerktor said keeps going around in my head. Was it true? His costume was so incredibly bad it *had* to be lies.
    11:55pm

posted April 24th 2009

  • Had a nightmare where everyone is wearing Psi-Jerktor's stupid costume... daddy, Billy, Jones... and *me*! Is this how the world ends?
    8:12am
  • I mean, yellow and blue? Did he fail style class or something? Going stir crazy in here. Now know how Paris Hilton felt.
    8:19am
  • Short visit from Dr Foster. Did some weird sh*t with flash cards. Wonder if she knew I was thinking about dark circles under her eyes.
    10:08am
  • Now she's outside my room talking to Dr Chandra. Can't hear what they're saying. Am I getting out of here? Wish I had super hearing.
    10:11am
  • YES! I'm free - almost. Have to go to debriefing first? WTF?!? Told Dr Foster I need *clean* clothes. She said she'd organize something.
    10:21am
  • Speedy girl Turner delivered some of my clothes. She was all red eyed - I told her not to cry, I was OK. She looked at me weird.
    11:13am
  • God! My whole wardrobe to chose from and she brings me *this*? Poor girl has no fashion sense.
    11:15am
  • Dr Chandra signed me out - said the healer ju-ju worked on my ear but to be careful of dizzy spells if flying. Time for this stupid debrief.
    11:43am
  • Butch security guard acting like she's all important and muttering under her breath escorts me thru infirmary. Like I need protecting?
    11:50am
  • Infirmary a mess. Full of bruised and mangled civs. Lots of moaning and stuff. Maybe they should play some of my songs to cheer them up.
    11:32am
  • Campus is huge mess. Smashed buses and broken glass everywhere, you'd think someone would've cleaned that up by now.
    12:44pm
  • Just got drilled about chroners by Spence and Keff. Spence needs a personality transplant. Who does he think he is anyway? Clint Eastwood???
    1:10pm
  • Was told I couldn't mention anything about chroners. Not Psi-Jerktor's bad costume (or codename). Not even future Billy going bald.
    1:12pm
  • Finally returned to the dorm. A lot of teary eyed people here - told them I was OK and not to be upset - the doc expects a full recovery.
    4:35pm
  • Oh. It's that dead Chong guy they're crying about. His bunk's covered in flowers and photos. Was he really that popular? I never reaslised.
    4:41pm
  • Finally, finally, finally had a chance to wash my hair.
    5:22pm
  • So what happened to Jones anyway? Not that I *care* - but no one knows, or if they do, they're saying nothing. Horribly maimed perhaps?
    6:19pm
  • Billy refuses to tell me what he knows about Jones. I'm sure he knows something. Whatever. Might go for a fly, see if I'm still dizzy.
    6:26pm
  • Crap. Crap. Crap. Was flying fine then got woozy and smashed into a cliff face. Don't think anyone saw. Maybe balance is still off?
    7:24pm
  • Hair's a mess... AGAIN. Might fly to Daddy's appt at Force Magellan HQ and stay the night there to avoid all the crying over at my own dorm.
    7:41pm
  • Could be a problem if he's doing the nasty with some super floozy but I'm willing to take the risk. If his back is out the chances are low.
    7:43pm
  • Not home anyway. Typical. Commed him - at a "crisis" meeting, said I could have spare room tonight only. Fine. Time for chocolate and teev.
    7:57pm

posted April 25th 2009

  • Guh. Woke up on lounge with TV still on. Don't think daddy even came home at all last night. No apocalypse nightmares=no more future shock?
    10:35am
  • You'd think the Mighty Mr Epoch would have a better stocked pantry. Nothing here for breakfast I want to eat. Have to go to cafeteria.
    10:47am
  • Message on comm: special assembly for cadets @ Champions' Ampitheater @ 9am - which is...um... two hours ago. Great, another chewing out.
    11:09am
  • Why don't they put those things on at a reasonable hour? Will pretend "dizziness" as excuse for being late and ask Billy to fill in details.
    11:12am
  • Didn't have to "pretend" dizziness - *did* weird out mid-flight to ChampAmp. Smashed into building. Everyone saw. Totally embarrassed.
    12:03pm
  • So it's back to the infirmary for *more* freaking check-ups. Have to hang about in the waiting room until some "Dr Philos" can see to me.
    12:24pm
  • *Still* waiting. Who's this Philos think he is anyway? Saw electro punk girl (name?)... she's way messed from other day, bruises, cuts, etc.
    1:19pm
  • She *was* at the ChampAmp assembly - some kind of work detail, so I didn't miss anything much. Casually asked if Jones was there. She was.
    1:21pm
  • Why does my doctor look like a gnome with thick glasses? Creepy. If he tries to do a full physical examination I'll punch his head off.
    1:56pm
  • Dr Gnome is clueless about these dizzy spells - what are they paying him for? Have to get my head scanned now. Better not mess up my hair.
    2:51pm
  • My invulnerability means only the metaphasic scanner can look inside head. Piece of junk found nothing in there. Nothing wrong, I mean.
    3:54pm
  • They're bringing back the healer to try the ju-ju again. Seems a waste of time to me. If the healer didn't have three eyes he'd be hot.
    4:42pm
  • Don't think that worked but have to wait and see. Daddy appears again, acting all worried and concerned. If he calls me poppet once more...!
    5:12pm
  • No, that healer ju-ju really didn't work. If anything dizziness is worse. uh... WTF? Just saw a split second vision of some wizard guy?!?
    5:41pm
  • Wow. That was freaky. He was *totally* freaky - a long freaky beard and freaky red eyes and the worst disco suit ever. *Freaky* disco suit.
    5:49pm
  • Telling Dr Gnome about my vision got him quite excited (not like that, you perve). He's run off to find Dr Chandra.
    5:55pm
  • Hoodoo now taking an interest in my freaky wizard vision. Also talking about moving me to Force Magellan HQ Infirmary. Is their food better?
    6:34pm

posted April 25th 2009xxxxx

  • Quite cranky now. Have been subject to all sorts of weird medi-magical tests. What do they think they're looking for anyway? Finally alone.
    12:44am
  • EGO NEX EVESOR.EGO NEX EVESOR. EGO NEX EVESOR. EGO NEX EVESOR. EGO NEX EVESOR. EGO NEX EVESOR. EGO NEX EVESOR. EGO NEX EVESOR.
    12:52am
  • Don't remember tweeting that. WTF? Probably spam. Or brainy baldy & "Mindmistress" hacking me. Must remember to complain to Twitter admins.
    12:57am
  • OK, I officially do not like being woken up early in the morning. At this rate I'll get circles under my eyes darker than Dr Foster's.
    6:44am
  • Hoodoo and spooky Lord Psiot dude are outside my room talking with that future Montana-Rose witch chick. Why do they keep looking at me?
    6:53am
  • Hoodoo tells me I might have a "fragment of magic" lodged in my inner ear from when the dragon attacked me. What does that even mean?
    7:27am
  • Have weird urge to "open Equis portal" and "ravish Miasma".
    9:03am
  • Hoodoo says they need to do some kind of spell to extract the magic fragment. This better not backfire and turn me in a horse or something.
    9:52am
  • How long's it going to take them to work out what spell they need? Diablo. Need some diablo. Don't even know what it is... but I need it.
    3:16pm
  • Wonder what I'd look like with a kick@$$ evil goatee. And a black disco suit with studded shoulder pads. And a cape.
    4:06pm
  • Did I just tweet that? Disco suit??? ugh. Things are now officially too weird. How do you delete tweets?
    4:40pm
  • They're ready to exorcize me now. If you don't read any more tweets after this then maybe it failed. It was awesome you knowing me. Kisses!
    8:52pm

posted April 26th 2009

  • Still alive! Things got weird there for a few hours. Not head rotating, projectile vomit weird, but weird enough. Did go evil for a minute.
    12:32am
  • Had to spend a few hours restrained with stuff they've used to contain Bomb-Bastic and other mega creeps. (Eyew, hope it was washed first.)
    12:35am
  • When the dragon mashed me into the ground during the attack a "magical fragment" from it became lodged in my inner ear. So glad I killed it.
    12:40am
  • Got told the details - blah blah blah DragonKlaw, diablo magic, infecting my brain blah blah. Whatever, it's over now and I'm ready to roll.
    12:44am
  • Wha...? It's the first case EVER of magical fragment possession and I can't tell anyone about it? How am I going to get sympathy from Billy?
    12:49am
  • Returned to dorm. Even more flowers on Chong dude's bunk. Saw Jones and snubbed her (still keen to hear how useless she was the other day).
    9:39am
  • Hearing some disturbing rumors that somehow... *SOMEHOW*... Jones played a part in helping Force Magellan win the other day. Can't be true.
    10:19am
  • Now they're saying Maya Fat-@$$ too? That I can believe a little... she's got that mind mojo thing - something as opposed to Jones' nothing.
    10:48am
  • I'd like to see either of them kill a dragon - obviously they didn't, so whatever it was it was they did it can't have been very important.
    11:03am
  • Not being stuck in the infirmary=hard labor cleaning up the mess of the attack. Currently shifting girders & concrete blocks @ West Tower.
    11:17am
  • I'm teamed with "I shall smite thee" Lyta (boring) and other power houses. The Latino guy with red neckerchief from fourth year looks hot.
    11:22am
  • http://twitpic.com/42xhq - Oh yeah! He couldn't believe his luck when I asked if I could pose with him. Look at that grin!
    11:23am from TwitPic

Oh yeah! He couldn't believe his luck when I asked if I pould pose with him. Look at that grin!

  • Just heard that the Chong guy's funeral will be held tomorrow @ noon. Apparently there was no body - so nothing to bury anyway...? Sad.
    11:40am
  • @jymset Yes, it is one of my main powers after all - the ability to be "awesome" in any situation. Hope you can see again.
    8:07pm in reply to jymset
  • Wonder what I should wear to the funeral? Last funeral I went to was the guitarist guy who got ashed by Sista Superior at my tour last year.
    8:21pm
  • @jymset I have the perfect outfit in mind. Very classy. Even though I didn't know this Chong guy all that well it's the least I could do...
    9:58am in reply to jymset

posted April 27th 2009

  • Now I'm hearing that Jones actually *died* during the attack? It just seems rude for her to now be walking around alive with Chong guy dead.
    9:24am
  • One thing's for sure, if Jones had stayed dead I wouldn't be wearing my best black dress to *her* funeral. It would be my I TOLD U SO tee.
    9:39am
  • http://twitpic.com/44qhp - I was definitely the best dressed at the funeral, Montana-Rose a distant second. Sad funeral with lots of crying.
    1:20pm from TwitPic

I was definitely the best dressed at the funeral, Montana-Rose a distant second. Sad funeral with lots of crying.

  • At the wake lots of people spoke about Chang (I found out his name was Chang). Never realized he was so popular. I said I liked his goatee.
    1:26pm
  • There's going to be a huge ceremony in a few days - I can easily imagine I'll be getting one of the highest awards for killing that dragon.
    2:10pm
  • It'll be like the Grammy I never got for "Kiss Me" (freakin' Dixie Chix biatches!!!)... but for dragon slaying instead. Cool.
    2:24pm

posted April 28th 2009

  • More hard work clearing out the mess made by those dragons. This time at East Tower. What a pain in the @$$ but today's the last of it.
    9:39am
  • Ranger Bill dropped by in some lame attempt to impress us with his "greatness". What a dork.
    10:40am
  • Shifting chunks of concrete all day. Have just cleaned out the grit from under my nails. Might ask Billy if he wanted to play air badminton.
    4:27pm
  • Problem with Billy playing air-bad is that, even with court set at 1x1x1miles, he still smashes the shuttlecock 10m out to sea. Strong boy.
    5:27pm
  • Fun playing air-bad again, reminded me of being 12 at Greenslopes. Took my mind off the ceremony... what award will I get? What about Jones?
    5:33pm
  • Yes, yes, yes, YES! A Silver Magellan Star! I'm being awarded a Silver Magellan Star for killing the dragon. That's very awesome. *AWESOME*!
    6:39pm
  • I have to share the presentation of my Silver Star with Billy, Ortanga and squid girl? What?? OK, Billy maybe. But those other two? Come on!
    6:50pm
  • Wait... Kaycee Jones is getting a Magellan Medal of Honor?? Billy says it's *better* than a Silver Star...? That can't be right. Can't be.
    6:57pm
  • @electromikey True superheroes don't have to share the stage with calamari.
    8:04pm in reply to electromikey
  • ARGH! It **IS** better?? Jones is getting a BETTER award than me? WTF????!!!!??? Must be some horrid mistake... or a pathetic unfunny joke.
    8:09pm
  • @electromikey Yes... no... wait... it's squid-girl who shouldn't be sharing the stage with *me*, Mr electrosmarty!
    8:19pm in reply to electromikey
  • I'll make Daddy sort this out - if Jones is getting a Medal of Honor then I should be getting one too... or something better and shinier.
    8:27pm
  • @jymset You'd think so - but it's no wonder Daddy hurt his back, he has no spine! He said he'd talk to Ken Spence but I bet he won't. ARRGH!
    8:34pm in reply to jymset

posted April 29th 2009

  • What's this trash Daddy tried to feed me about Jones "acting above and beyond the call of duty"??? Hello? Killed a freaking dragon here.
    10:37am
  • Even if I'm not getting the best award at this stupid ceremony I'll still look the best. Had my hair done up by Meesha for maximum awesome.
    4:45pm
  • Awards now underway. What the freaking heck is *that* thing? A robot with a fishbowl for a head and a weird wormy thing floating inside...?!
    6:11pm
  • Are they going give an award to *everyone*???? Sure feels like it.
    6:43pm
  • They should have a separate ceremony for the civs and security - like the technical awards at the Grammys.
    7:13pm
  • I really don't know how squid girl can get away with *NOT* wearing pants on stage. I now have my stupid Silver Star, for what it's worth.
    7:30pm
  • Tried not to laugh when Jones got her medal - did snicker but then Billy elbowed me. Ow. How rude. And who is that woman with a tail anyway?
    8:13pm
  • It was sad when they presented Chang's medal to his family. (Going to his funeral really helped me to remember his name!!) Can we go now?
    8:22pm

posted April 30th 2009

  • Classes start again today - first up was Demonology 101. Ugh. Do we *really* need to know about brain-sucking Braal worms? Apparently yes.
    9:16am
  • Three months to my birthday. Need to start planning the party today. Invite list=everyone except Jones. And squid girl.
    1:42pm
  • I tried to avoid Daddy today since I'm not talking to him - but he cornered me and reminded me about next week's Sista Superior court case.
    7:23pm
  • She's suing daddy for "using excessive force" when he "arrested" her at my concert last year. Annoyingly, I've been called as a witness.
    7:28pm

posted May 1st 2009

  • Training session in robo-mat today... have to subdue "norm-rated" bots without incapacitating or decapitating them. Where's the fun in that?
    2:34pm
  • Besides, as if I'd bother with norm thugs when I'm a superhero. Isn't that what cops are for? And Jones too? She'll need *someone* to bash.
    2:41pm
  • Guys in my year: hot-2-not? Billy=hot, Mudge Wilson=not. Others in between. Weird little green guy not included, not sure he's even a he.
    4:18pm

posted May 2nd 2009

  • Totally *totally* hate homework deadlines. You'd think killing a dragon and being infected by some magic ju-ju would earn me an extension!!
    12:13am
  • Flying=easy. Changing direction & flying=hard. Obstacle training=smashing into stuff. Smashing into stuff=not getting into FLIGHT CLUB.
    1:16pm
  • *How many times* am I going to have to see Freya Foster before she's convinced I'm not weirded out from future shock 'cos of those chroners?
    4:08pm
  • Want to file my nails but can't find my titanium-steel grinder. *Where* is it??? Maybe someone stole it. I bet it was Lyta the Smiter.
    7:22pm
  • @purple_phoenix Is that wings with feathers or bat wings? I'm sure I could do wings with feathers, but not bat wings... gross and creepy!
    7:30pmin reply to purple_phoenix
  • @purple_phoenix ugh! Don't talk to me about molting! Some third year cadet has feathers which get into everything. I call him "Chicken Boy".
    8:01pm in reply to purple_phoenix
  • Still can't find nail grinder. Grrr! Who stole it??? Lyta denied taking it and then threatened to smite me for accusing her. She can *try*.
    8:04pm
  • @purple_phoenix You have that the wrong way around - it'll be them needing *my* aid one day. And whoever stole my grinder will get *no* aid.
    8:37pm in reply to purple_phoenix
  • @purple_phoenix So... you're saying someone else might be able to help me find my nail grinder? Wouldn't it be easier to blame Mudge Wilson?
    9:08pm in reply to purple_phoenix
  • @purple_phoenix EXACTLY! That pervy little pervert! If he *does* have it I don't want it back. I burnt those panties he molested (shudders).
    10:07pm in reply to purple_phoenix
  • @purple_phoenix Clearly you've no idea how much titanium-steel nail grinders cost... I could buy a whole new Pierre outfit for those $$$s!
    10:34pm in reply to purple_phoenix
  • @purple_phoenix Also, you're starting to sound an awful lot like my father... is that really **you**, Daddy? Snooping on my Twitter account?
    10:36pm in reply to purple_phoenix

posted May 4th 2009

  • @purple_phoenix I'm not talking to Daddy at the moment. You'll have to reminisce about your "rubbing" experiences with him (eyew) yourself.
    11:17am in reply to purple_phoenix
  • Asked BrainyBaldy to help me find my nail grinder. She wasn't interested (rude) until I started carving my name into her desk with my nails.
    11:24am
  • Oh right. So *that's* where it was. She really is a brainy baldy. Time for some serious finger nail grinding... they're lethal if too long!
    11:43am
  • @jymset I still think it *was* Lyta. She acts all high, mighty & godessly but deep down is probably a klepto... a stealing/returning klepto.
    12:50pm in reply to jymset
  • @purple_phoenix ROFL!!!!! Oh, please... Daddy "trying to be the best dad he can"?? Now you're sounding just like Freya Foster! Extra ROFL.
    12:57pm in reply to purple_phoenix
  • Physics is making my brain hurt. Why do I need to know about momentum, velocity & mass anyway? How about BAD GUY+PUNCH=POW? Works for me!
    4:03pm

posted May 5th 2009

  • Birthday preparations well underway. Have decided what color paper to print invitations on. Lavender Blush.
    10:20am
  • Force Magellan's vanished on some secret mission and Daddy's gone with them (what "bad back"?). Sista Superior's court thingy is in 2 days.
    2:08pm
  • @jymset Too right. Lyta's not even the tiniest fraction on me... can't fly, no fashion sense, no #1 single. She is the Goddess of Lameness.
    2:13pm in reply to jymset
  • Interesting class on how to rig makeshift explosives from common kitchen items... if I was someone who couldn't JUST SMASH MY THRU that is.
    3:53pm
  • @purple_phoenix Hmm - you *are* right, blowing stuff up its heaps fun. Now I am in two minds... to boom or to bash, that is the question.
    9:23pm in reply to purple_phoenix

posted May 6th 2009

  • Media reporting a big fight in Florida - Force Magellan & Magellan USA (South) vs some new mega villain with supergator army. Seriously WTF?
    2:20pm
  • Daddy better not use this as an excuse to dodge his court appearance against Sista Superior. That reminds me, still have to pick my outfit.
    2:23pm
  • Latest from Florida... Gator-Maid and her supergators have taken over Disneyland. Wonder if Daddy will bring me back a souvenir?
    7:10pm
  • They're calling in Magellan USA (East) to help in Florida. How many super groups does it take to fight one crazy with a supergator army?
    8:04pm
  • This psycho science chick dressed in gator leather invading Disney with her supergators is wayoff the weirdometer! #supergators #gator-maid
    9:32pm

posted May 7th 2009

  • Gator-Maid finally stopped. Some considerable damage at Disney. Nobody really liked the Country Bear Jamboree thingy anyway, did they?
    12:28am
  • And now the media is all "EPOCH IS GREAT! EPOCH IS TEH AWESOME!" He saved the "Small World" ride from destruction or something equally lame.
    8:31am
  • Sista Superior court appearance 2day. She's suing Daddy for using so-called "excessive force" arresting her @ my Kiss Me Concert last year.
    8:53am
  • Daddy, of course, is nowhere to be seen - still "mopping up" @ Disney. Can't Ranger Bill get rid of the mangled supergator corpses instead?
    8:57am
  • Am wearing an absolute OMG jaw dropper outfit for my witness appearance... have to look my best for the media pack rats & poopheadarazzi.
    9:00am
  • Being flown to Locke Island. That's right, not flying myself - it's all, like, super-secure there, where all bad guys and guyesses do time.
    9:39am
  • Mr Bad @$$ Bass is flying the hopper - looking all grim & bad @$$y. Still no word on Daddy's ETA... probably last minute as usual, the bum.
    9:42am
  • Have arrived @ Locke Island Court House. Throng of reporters waiting outside, packed into the only area they're allowed to set foot on.
    10:41am
  • Freaking reporters! Here I am looking drop-dead AWESOME and all they can do is ask me about Daddy this, Daddy that. Hello? How would I know?
    10:55am
  • Going into main court now... hyper secure area... might be hard to tweet. Looking forward to sneering @ Sista Superior from the dock.
    10:58am
  • Of course, Daddy arrives with one minute to spare. Ew, is that a drop of supergator blood on his "e"? Gross! Couldn't he at least change?
    11:08am
  • Sista Superior looking *totally* inferior in her orange prison jumpsuit. Let the sneering begin.
    11:19am
  • Mayhem in the court!! A reporter (from Rolling Stone) revealed to be a metamorph working for Sista and has burst into court to bust her out!
    12:01pm
  • Judge Ploom taken hostage by Sista S - Daddy and Bad @$$ Bass telling me to "stop calling Sista names" & "making it worse". She started it!
    12:05pm
  • Have punched out Rolling Stone metamorph reporter (looked like a big squiddy thing). Will this hurt/help my chances of getting on RS cover??
    12:09pm
  • Mayhem over. Daddy has taken down Sista Superior. Again. Despite having punched out Rolling Stone squiddy no one paying attention to me. >:(
    12:15pm
  • @electromikey I mangled two tentacles. Not as good as breaking legs. Sista has new charges & Judge threw out her lawsuit against Daddy.
    11:11pm in reply to electromikey

posted May 8th 2009

  • Am I going to have to sit thru hours&hours of debriefings every time something crazy happens & squiddy metamorphs get punched? Boredom hell!
    10:16am
  • Thought I'd have a good reason for missing math & physics... except I have to make up for time lost class time anyway. Seriously annoyed.
    11:20am
  • http://twitpic.com/4tapw - Rolling Squiddy tastes fist during yesterday's attempt to spring Sista superior from court. Check it!
    12:24pm from TwitPic

Rolling Squiddy tastes fist during yesterday's attempt to spring Sista superior from court. Check it!

  • In an effort to improve my flying skills, have signed Billy and myself up for a super's air-badminton tournament. He doesn't know yet...!
    1:27pm
  • Billy seemed less than enthused at my surprise. Ingrate! Said he *would* play though... & so he should after all my efforts to sign him up.
    1:46pm
  • He said I should have asked him first. Hello? I thought the whole idea of a "surprise" was that you *didn't* ask first???
    2:32pm

posted May 9th 2009

  • @jymset All that awesome & it goes unrecognized & the gossip mags run crap like *this*... "CHARISMA'S NEW SQUID BEAU - DATE RAGE SHOCKER!!!"
    2:40pm in reply to jymset

posted May 10th 2009

  • @wonderella I always thought it depended on whether or not mom #2 did the basting or not...?
    1:12pm in reply to wonderella
  • Happy Crazy Mother's Day, crazy mom! Thanks a zillion for stealing Daddy's jazz & turkey-basting me into existence. No, really... thanks!
    2:00pm

posted May 11th 2009

  • All superhero cadets need to study literature. Not sure why. Is it so we can spout witty &/or meaningful quotes at villains mid-battle?
    10:07am
  • Billy doesn't think I notice him making moo-moo eyes at Jones. If he keeps this up an intervention is called for.
    1:43pm
  • I mean, unless Jones gets herself a case of the invulnerables (as if) then it'll never happen, Billy. Stop with the moo-moo eyes already!
    1:53pm

posted May 12th 2009

  • Actual things that other cadets eat - blue demon girl: tree bark & black fungus; squid girl: raw fish, scales & bones & all. Ug. Gross.
    12:59pm
  • My agent says some (hack) songwriter has penned me a "definite hit" & wants to know if I want to make a comeback with "Sista S Smackdown"...
    10:33pm

posted May 13th 2009

  • Having now listened to a demo MP3, "Sista S Smackdown" has definite potential - but only if I was singing it. Will have to consider it...
    1:33am
  • More gross things cadets eat - little green goblin dude: live bugs & rodents (not kidding); Mudge Wilson: what the hell is *black pudding*??
    8:33pm
  • Daddy says I have to choose between superheroing or being a pop star! WHY CAN'T I DO BOTH!?! Can't it be my secret identity or something??
    10:40pm

posted May 14th 2009

  • Daddy thinks villains will use my public identity to strike at him thru me. Am I not important enough for villains strike at *me* thru *me*?
    12:35pm

posted May 18th 2009

  • Recent lengthy tweet silence due to me being involved in a super-secret mission. Nah... it was 'cos I couldn't be bothered tweeting. Psyche!
    2:23pm
  • @electromikey Of course I care about my fans. I care about them buying my music and merch.
    3:28pm in reply to electromikey
  • Have arranged a meeting with my agent in Hawaii to discuss Sista Smackdown. Can fly there solo in 2 hrs & back again without anyone knowing.
    3:32pm

posted May 19th 2009

  • @electromikey I only care about fans who *pay* money. If they illegally download my music then I don't care (well, I *do*, but I don't).
    6:06pm in reply to electromikey
  • Have set up convincing excuse for me to be outside island perimeters for a few hours - they don't know I'm flying to Hawaii & back...
    6:08pm

posted May 20th 2009

  • Been too busy singing Sista Smackdown in my head to actually pay attention to anything taught in class today - hope it wasn't important.
    12:14pm

Author's comments: So these Tweets were the result of a bee in my bonnet that started buzzing in April 2009 and lasted until May of that year. I thought it might be a blast to write as one of the Magellan characters on Twitter and reasoned that Charisma Epoch would be the only one egotistical and self-absorbed enough to share her most inner thoughts while there was death, destruction and mayhem crashing down around her. Besides, everyone really wants to know what really goes on in her pretty little vacuous head don't they? So I started up a Charisma Twitter account: @Charisma_E!

Anyway, I had a blast! Starting with Charisma's first appearance in Chapter 4 (4.32) gave me a reference point; but then I realised that the majority of events of that story - which had originally taken me three years to write and draw - actually unfolded within a 24 hour time period with a further 10 or so day period following as a wrap up. I tried to keep the tweets coming thick and fast, pretty much as chronologically consistant as possible. It should be noted though that for the purposes of presenting it here I have "corrected" the time stamps to more accurately synch up with when they are depicted as happening in the comic.

So I wrote this totally in character, it's a little disturbing how easy it was for me to get inside the head of a snarky, narcissistic teen girl! Even the @responses to any readers who felt brave enough to message her got a serving of Charisma's wisdom. Apologies to anyone I may have offended... it was Charisma speaking, not me! I decided to keep those @responses in this version of the narrative as they often added information to unfolding events.

What was particularly fun about this process was dropping in references to the many other characters that make up Charisma's life at Magellan Academy and also dashing out the accompanying "Twitpic" illustrations. For some reason, hating on Kaycee Jones also makes total sense when one is in Charisma Epoch's shoes.

There wasn't a game plan, plot, over-riding narrative or anything that would have helped give the project much structure. Once I passed through the prism of Bad Karma I needed to come up with original material/adventures for her. While I feel the Sista Superior court battle was rather inspired I started to find juggling Charisma's life with my own was becoming a bit too demanding and distracting and so the last tweet went out on May 20 without any resolution to her possible tilt at recording the song, or her birthday for that matter. You can assume that her tweeting was discovered by Magellan Command and terminated with a severe reprimand!

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